Welcome to PositionDefinition! Every day a phrase will be posted; you must define this phrase as if it were a sexual Position. You can also vote on definitions posted for yesterday's position and view past positions and their official (most votes) definition.
Enjoy!
Position:
And the winner is:
Runnerups:
The Staten Island
2012-01-10And the winner is:
Fall asleep during sex. Wake up and become very confused.
with 0 votes!
with 0 votes!
Runnerups:
Having sex on THE ferry while high on opiates.
votes: 0
votes: 0
Fall asleep during sex. Wake up and become very confused.
votes: 0
votes: 0
Position:
And the winner is:
Runnerups:
The Che Guevara
2011-09-27And the winner is:
Let a handsome Agentinian man be your "Guerrilla Leader".
with 1 votes!
with 1 votes!
Runnerups:
Let a handsome Agentinian man be your "Guerrilla Leader".
votes: 1
votes: 1
It's not really as good as people say it is
votes: 0
votes: 0
Position:
And the winner is:
Runnerups:
The John Boehner
2011-08-29And the winner is:
To have sex strictly on the right side of the bed.
with 0 votes!
with 0 votes!
Runnerups:
Record yourself having sex with a girl and start crying. Put it on the news.
votes: 0
votes: 0
To have sex strictly on the right side of the bed.
votes: 0
votes: 0
Position:
And the winner is:
Runnerups:
The French Zookeeper
2011-08-27And the winner is:
Required materials: 1 6'x2'x3' cage, 1 slim French woman, 20 cigarettes, 1 skunk, 2 French men, 3 berets.
Instructions:
Wait.
with 0 votes!
with 0 votes!
Runnerups:
Required materials: 1 6'x2'x3' cage, 1 slim French woman, 20 cigarettes, 1 skunk, 2 French men, 3 berets.
Instructions:
Wait.
votes: 0
votes: 0
Position:
And the winner is:
Runnerups:
The Google Search
2011-07-28And the winner is:
The morning after a sexual encounter, you decide to google their name only to discover a vibrant online community of forums, rankings, videos and plenty of user generated content by other people who have slept with your hookup. You start to wonder what is more painful, the fact that the I've slep with "..." too, group is the first search result, google recognized the person by the first two letters in their name, or that when you typed their name, google asked "did you mean I've slept with "..." too?
with 1 votes!
with 1 votes!
Runnerups:
"I'm feeling lucky"
votes: 0
votes: 0
When you can't figure out where the opening of the vagina is so you search all the medical books in your house. By this time the vagina has left. You masturbate.
votes: 0
votes: 0
The morning after a sexual encounter, you decide to google their name only to discover a vibrant online community of forums, rankings, videos and plenty of user generated content by other people who have slept with your hookup. You start to wonder what is more painful, the fact that the I've slep with "..." too, group is the first search result, google recognized the person by the first two letters in their name, or that when you typed their name, google asked "did you mean I've slept with "..." too?
votes: 1
votes: 1
Position:
And the winner is:
Runnerups:
China
2011-07-24And the winner is:
When you give a really shitty lover great advice and months of support until they're finally half decent, allowing them to become good enough to leave you and fuck other assholes.
with 3 votes!
with 3 votes!
Runnerups:
When you give a really shitty lover great advice and months of support until they're finally half decent, allowing them to become good enough to leave you and fuck other assholes.
votes: 3
votes: 3
When the girl orgasms because the guy said she did. If the girl continues to protest, there was no sexual act or girl at all.
votes: 2
votes: 2
When you trespass in the "Forbidden City". Preferably somewhere very crowded.
votes: 0
votes: 0
find a BBW and have as many guys cum in her in hopes to fill up her population
votes: 0
votes: 0
Like a bull in a china shop.
votes: 0
votes: 0
Position:
And the winner is:
Runnerups:
Dora the Explorer
2011-07-23And the winner is:
Grab your partner aggressively by the pubic hair and point to objects around the room. If they can name the object in Spanish, adorn them lovingly with kisses; if not, yank out a patch of hair.
with 3 votes!
with 3 votes!
Runnerups:
While having sex, switch up your language to only spanish and dont stop speaking it even if she doesn't understand
votes: 1
votes: 1
Grab your partner aggressively by the pubic hair and point to objects around the room. If they can name the object in Spanish, adorn them lovingly with kisses; if not, yank out a patch of hair.
votes: 3
votes: 3
Subset of vacation sex--sex at the monuments that were the hardest to find.
For extra accuracy: all talking dirty should try to be carried out in the native language of the place you are visiting.
votes: 0
votes: 0
When you are feeling adventurous and you want to explore new seas, so you hookup with a random person who happens to have a fetish of making people scream awkward things in Spanish.
votes: 0
votes: 0
When you slip your hand down a girl's pants, looking for that taco shell.
votes: 1
votes: 1
When you have to go find all the shit you lost after a night of drunken debauchery, but you are so hung over you randomly start speaking spanish and you ask people who aren't there really obvious questions.
votes: 1
votes: 1
Position:
And the winner is:
Runnerups:
Easter
2011-04-24And the winner is:
When the male, after excessive boasting regarding his prowess is done earlier than expected but manages to make a comeback only three minutes later. He'll blame the first failure on the Jews.
with 4 votes!
with 4 votes!
Runnerups:
When the male, after excessive boasting regarding his prowess is done earlier than expected but manages to make a comeback only three minutes later. He'll blame the first failure on the Jews.
votes: 4
votes: 4
Post-coitus, play dead. Your partner will then run screaming from the building/room. Three days later, wake them up in the middle of the night with a surprise blowjob.
votes: 2
votes: 2
follow the happy trail to find the eggs
votes: 0
votes: 0
hide your eggs inside me
votes: 0
votes: 0
Great thinking! That really baerks the mold!
votes: 0
votes: 0
Hide candy in surprising parts of your body. Let your lover try and find it. Preferably before it melts.
votes: 0
votes: 0
Position:
And the winner is:
Runnerups:
The Soviet Union
2011-04-23And the winner is:
in soviet union, child molests you!
with 7 votes!
with 7 votes!
Runnerups:
quit stalin and come fuck me already!
votes: 7
votes: 7
"Gorbachev, tear down this diaphram."
votes: 2
votes: 2
Be a "generous" lover and share all experiences in the bedroom... or else.
votes: 0
votes: 0
It's when you go to the "GREAT PEOPLES UNITED FLUFFING UNIT" and wait in line for three hours for an unsatisfying blow job fir for a patriot!
votes: 0
votes: 0
in soviet union, child molests you!
votes: 7
votes: 7
Position:
And the winner is:
Runnerups:
The Wizard of Oz
2011-04-21And the winner is:
When a really fat Kentucky girl sits on a guy and yanks on his "ruby slipper" poking out from under her ass.
with 3 votes!
with 3 votes!
Runnerups:
When a really fat Kentucky girl sits on a guy and yanks on his "ruby slipper" poking out from under her ass.
votes: 3
votes: 3
A foursome involving three guys and one girl while a dog, a flying monkey and a crowd of midgets watch.
votes: 0
votes: 0
Slip a girl a roofie. Take her on a "magical journey" while she's unconscious.
votes: 2
votes: 2
Position:
And the winner is:
Runnerups:
The Seder
2011-04-20And the winner is:
After drinking the required four cups of red wine, you wrap your passed out partner up a blanket and hide them somewhere in the house to be discovered by the children later in the morning in exchange for candy.
with 5 votes!
with 5 votes!
Runnerups:
After drinking the required four cups of red wine, you wrap your passed out partner up a blanket and hide them somewhere in the house to be discovered by the children later in the morning in exchange for candy.
votes: 5
votes: 5
You and your partner get very drunk drinking wine, then have inappropriately loud sex with your family members within earshot. Preferably enjoying Matzo after the fact.
votes: 1
votes: 1
bend her over, then pass(her)over
votes: 0
votes: 0
Position:
And the winner is:
Runnerups:
The "Hip Hop"
2011-04-15And the winner is:
When a couple have sex in a club, on the dance floor but do it so conspicuously that everyone just thinks they are grinding. A skirt is required. Sometimes males confusedly think that all women will happily be receptive to a hip hop, while shoving their erection into the female forcefully, usually causing the female great distress. This is where the hip hop gets its name... because the male hops between hips until he finds one that will be happily receptive.
with 6 votes!
with 6 votes!
Runnerups:
When a couple have sex in a club, on the dance floor but do it so conspicuously that everyone just thinks they are grinding. A skirt is required. Sometimes males confusedly think that all women will happily be receptive to a hip hop, while shoving their erection into the female forcefully, usually causing the female great distress. This is where the hip hop gets its name... because the male hops between hips until he finds one that will be happily receptive.
votes: 6
votes: 6
To fornicate with well endowed females, while thinking of this song ♪ I like big booty bitches oooh big booty bitches ♪
votes: 0
votes: 0
(8) I like big booty bitches (8)
votes: 0
votes: 0
You have to Uhhhh Push it, Push it real good.
votes: 0
votes: 0
Position:
And the winner is:
Runnerups:
Swedish Paleontologist
2011-04-14And the winner is:
Digging through a lover's cavernous orifice searching for the missing piece of an IKEA furniture set.
with 3 votes!
with 3 votes!
Runnerups:
Digging through a lover's cavernous orifice searching for the missing piece of an IKEA furniture set.
votes: 3
votes: 3
When a young blonde has sex only with 80+ yr olds in a Volvo.
votes: 2
votes: 2
when a falic shaped piece of petrified wood is used with a tall blonde stranger who does not speak english, the artifact can be used mutually
votes: 1
votes: 1
Position:
And the winner is:
Runnerups:
The Julia Child
2011-04-12And the winner is:
butter everywhere.
with 5 votes!
with 5 votes!
Runnerups:
making love on a butter kitchen countertop whilst* reenacting a russian spy fantasy scenario.
votes: 0
votes: 0
making love on a butter kitchen countertop whist reenacting a russian spy fantasy scenario.
votes: 1
votes: 1
butter everywhere.
votes: 5
votes: 5
To avoid awkward sex between a very short man and a very tall women, the man only perform oral sex, and to spice things up, the women put french food all over her body (preferably waist high or lower so her partner can reach).
votes: 1
votes: 1
Position:
And the winner is:
Runnerups:
The Prospective Student
2011-04-11And the winner is:
Spend 4 years ramming a realdoll to hone your skill only to find out no actual people want to fuck you anyway
with 8 votes!
with 8 votes!
Runnerups:
what begins as an exciting and satisfying sexual encounter leads to a dissatisfying climax and leaves you wondering if it would have been better if you spent that time applying for a managers position at barns & nobles.
votes: 4
votes: 4
Spend 4 years ramming a realdoll to hone your skill only to find out no actual people want to fuck you anyway
votes: 8
votes: 8
You think you're into girls, but you're not REALLY into girls
votes: 1
votes: 1
You cum, you leave, and then you spend the next four years lavishing money on your lover as they teach you the ways of lovemaking. Then they kick you out, you find someone else, but every so many years you have a reunion and fuck each other's brains out.
votes: 1
votes: 1
